So DSD is upset that we are having another girl and I guess I was a bit unprepared for her reaction because she is very very disappointed. She told me she wasn't happy.

I'm not offended (at first I was secretly a bit offended but I'm now just concerned about her emotions)

I think, just going by what I feel may be the underlying issue is that because she was born to a teen mum and she has been an only child for 9 years, then in the space of 2.5 years she will have 3 siblings (her mum is pregnant too).

With DD, she was so excited to find out she would have a sister and she told me later that she prayed for a sister. And fir the past 2 years she has had DD all to herself and hasn't had to share her with anyone. But now I'm having another girl I think she may feel a bit uncertain of the future, maybe a bit jealous because she will have to share DD with another sister.

Her mum doesn't know the sex of her baby and I said to DSD "mum might be having a boy, you don't know yet" but I think she might want her mum to have a girl (i think she wanted a sister from her mum and a brother from us, not the other way around - that way she can have two sisters without feeling like she has to "share" them with any other sisters)

I know she just needs to "deal with it" which is what DH says but she does need some emotional support to come to terms with it and I need some ideas.

I've thought of taking her shopping to buy her new sister a gift but I don't think she's ready yet so that's on the cards for later. Thought of getting her to think of names but we have already named the baby... any other ideas?

Thanks for letting me rack your brains!

I went through this with DS1. His 6 year old thought processing I am sure is a lot less complicated then your DSD though and you have a more complex issue.

When we told DS1 he was going to have another brother his face dropped... then he asked in a really quiet voice how we can change it for another one!! He was actually really sad because he told anyone that would listen right up until the 20 weeks scan he wanted a sister. I felt a bit sorry for him.

Within about 48 hours of the news he was over it and now can't wait for his brother to come. My boys are already like peas in a pod so I know there wont be issues. DS just had 2 friends in his class with baby sisters and I think that is where it all stemmed from.

Maybe your DSD just needs some processing time too? DS still thinks that he will have a sister one day, which he wont because we are making permanent contraceptive decisions!! I've told him this but he still asks. He'll get over it!!

Good luck tackling the issue.

That is hard.
Just thinking outside the box, could the reaction be because of what is happening at home with her mum? Lots of changes there and some uncertanity ( i know dsd mum) plus your home renovations you were staying with your fil.
Maybe she just needs too find her "place" in everything, at both houses, highschool is not far away.2 new sibblings in 20 weeks or so is a lot for her too tackle.
Maybe try do some extra school holiday things with her, get her too plan a day with you and dd,set a budget and she can work it out?
Take her baby shopping?
So maybe it is not the sex of bub but everything else as well but she is using that as an excuse or outlet?
you know where i am, ring or text ok xx