I had my son by c-section, but he was premature and needed a lot of care, so he was rushed out and my ex followed as soon as he started to breathe.

I didn't get to see him for about 9 hours and my ex barely even came down to tell me how he was.

I felt like he wasn't my baby and I felt like I hadn't bonded with him and eventually I really just wanted to put him up for adoption.

I was told I may have to have another c-section as my cut was made longer than usual.

So now I am really worried that I won't bond again.

hi. i had an emergency CS with my 2nd child. i had to be knocked out as she was dying inside me and they didnt have much time to get her out. when i woke up, was in agony and they took me to the nursery where i got to see her with a dome on her head forcing oxygen into her. she was in a humidicrib for most of the week. my hubby had already left and gone home (it was 11pm by that stage) and i suffered ptsd/pnd afterwards due to not feeling like i bonded with her and also felt alone. i wanted to sorta go through what had gone on with hubby but hed been told i;d most likely just sleep all night.... but i wanted him there when i woke up....

so when i had my 3rd, i;d tried for a vbac but the labour wasnt quick enough for them so had another cs. i got to be awake this time and i told hubby, do not go anywhere til i say so.... anyway, baby came out and she was 110% fine and healthy. they said he could take her back to my room while i went into recovery. i have heard some mums request bubs go into recovery with them but i was fine knowing she was ok. it did take a little longer in recovery as i had a 'boggy' uterus,. had a PPH of 1.2l but my stats were all good so they couldnt work out if it was blood or some amnio fluid as well. and then i had a clot that they had to massage out as well. by the tiem i got back to my room, i think it was about 2.5 hours after the birth. not long after, the nurses left (i;d not wanted to hold bub yet) but then she cried and i got hubby to give her to me for our first feed and we were all alone it was awesome :) needless to say i didnt suffer a recurrance of the pnd and bub and i bonded excellently. i think for the most part if the baby is ok they can go back to your room with the dad once they are out and all fine, if they have to go to the nursery then they go there, but i think in some circumstances you can request that the baby stay with you the entire time even through recovery although it doesnt always happen as there can be more than 1 person in recovery.

I've had two different experiences. My DS2 was an emergency c-section at 38weeks after he went into distress during labour. He was healthy when he was born and had really good APGAR scores so he got to stay with me during recovery and afterwards (just had to call the nurse when he cried as I obviously couldn't walk for the first night and DH had left).

With DD I had another emergency c-section after I went into spontaneous labour at 35+6. DD wasn't very well when she was born and had breathing issues amongst other things so I got to hold her while being wheeled into recovery but after that she and DH went to special care. However, I had wonderful nurses who wheeled my entire bed into the NICU in the middle of the night (3:00am) so that I could see her. It was quiet in there at the time so my bed could fit and while I couldn't hold her, I was able to put my hand into the isolette to stroke her.

It's worth asking for what you want, I wasn't aware that I could go to NICU before I was able to get into a wheelchair until a wonderful nurse offered to take me down - Although I was extra lucky as it was night time and there weren't many babies in NICU at the time. What I am trying to say is to voice what you want.