I totally get where you are coming from. I so want to slap people who think having a c-section is the "easy" way out. I would have given anything to be able to have a shower and stand up straight by MYSELF shortly after giving birth, instead of having to wait till the next day and then still need help. To be able to drive afterwards, to not have to worry about taking the dressings off, to be able to pick up my older child (second c-section obviolusly) when she was so excited to see me after being at Mums for the week. To have been able to go home after only a few days and not five at the hospital, to be able to say "I did that!! I managed what nature intended by birthing children naturally" To be able to move without being in pain. To be able to take myself to the toilet afterwards.

Hugs Mel, I know exactly how you feel.

Is there definitely no chance of a VBAC for you now?

I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. If I didn't get sick (HELLP Syndrome) and need an emergency C/S (without labour) then I feel that DS wouldn't have survived a looooong trip down the birth canal like his brother due to his undiagnosed condition, so it was just as well.

I didn't see DS2 til he was 4 days old, but overall it was a better actual 'birthing' experience with a faster recovery then the natural birth I went through with DS1. That was absolutely horrendous and resulted in a 3rd degree tear. The tear took many many many months longer to recover form then the C/S scar. That is just my experience but sometimes natural birth isn't all it's cracked up to be either.

Saying that, I would like to try for VBAC. If it doesn't happen though it doesn't matter too much. You have to remember you are having a baby, not a birth.

P.S If you do try for VBAC also be sure to do it for you and whatever benefits it brings to your child. Don't do it to prove something to other people. Their comments are rubbish and they only reason they would put you down is to make themselves feel more superior.

I was told that I wouldnt be able to have a natural birth because its too risky, apparently if an APH happens once then its likely to happen again. I am glad that Ollie made it out alive and I know I had NO choice, but in my case I didnt even have a contraction. I get comments like 'I cant believe you had a baby and didnt even have a contraction'. The Dr was quite smug about it and assumed that it was a failed labour (sorry I know this isnt what it is called). I just dont think people understand unless they have had one how it feels and I know that its going to be so much harder next time because I wont have hubby staying with me in hospital so I have all those thoughts in my head about what its going to be like.
I am fine, I guess I just wanted to say because people dont realise when they say these things what they are actually saying.
Having said that I understand why women choose to have them, its their choice and I'm totally respectful of that :) Thanks MiniMes and Kates Mummy its nice to know that I'm not the only one xx

i completely agree. i hated having to have my CS and i've had 1 natural and 2 cs. and i want to try for a vbac again this time (2nd cs for baby #3 was a 'failed' vbac) and all i have heard so far is a lot of put downs- from other mums! all saying i shuold just give up on it, i'll probably need one anyway, al basically they are worse than the doctor who said i had to have another cs or go elsewhere. i try and tell myself oh it was best for the baby- for dd 3, it wasmt, it was convenient for the hospital. not us at all, hence why i want to try again this time around. so if it isnt bad enough that you get put down for even having a cs, you get chucked into the too hard basket by everyone for any future children or births you want to have. would be different if they were saying it out of compassion but its not, it feels like a slap in the face like- hahahaha why the hell do you even bother your just gonna have another cs so why are you even trying? youre a failure so just go and fail again because i'm not gonna support you in your want to try a gain or evem just shut my mouth and say something nice.... <thats honestly what it feels like.cs is not its all c racked up to be and i even find it hard to even accpet that i am a cs mother, because i dont 'classify' myself in any particular category since i;ve had both. but its not the easy wa out, most times its necessary and sometimes women are lied to in order to satisfy what the doctors want.

I totally get where you are coming from a c-section is certainly not easy, I still suffer from it now. While I have never had anyone tell me the things you have mentioned I have been told “you didn’t give birth” that really made me cranky.

I think some people just do not understand what happens after a c-section. It is the most traumatic experience in my life. The contractions I had was nothing compared to the pain of the c-section and then add to that that you cannot even properly look after your baby and it is really a horrible time. Even my DH was traumatised by the aftermath of the c-section.